The Darkness Just Begun
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: Koschei's stuck somewhere between who he was and the darkness inside of him trying to make him the Master. Can Theta help and will he? Will Koschei let him? Or will the Master win in the end? T for violence.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A Doctor/Master(Theta/Koschei) story inspired by a Skillet song, because this isn't by third like that or anything. I got the idea a while ago but couldn't think of a way to write it, plus I planned for it to be a one-shot but the story disagreed, but updates will probably be slow because I have three other fics on the go and exams coming up. It was inspired by 'Monster' and the title is a line from the song. Please R&R.  
>Ly Lyrics.<p>

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><p><strong>The Darkness Just Begun<br>Chapter 1**

He could feel the anger burning up inside him, an anger he couldn't explain much less control. It was there with the drums, _taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, _steadily growing, steadily getting worse. He tried to ignore it, he tried to push it down, he tried focusing on what was in front of him. Theta was stood in front of him in the forest where they always met, he was smiling, his pale brown eyes glistening happily. He couldn't help but see beauty when he looked at Theta but then that was Theta all over wasn't it? Practically perfect, perfect grades, perfect family, perfect damn smile. And as the son of Dr Sigma, one of Gallifrey's finest, what else could be expected? How he'd like to wipe that smile off his face.

No! He didn't think that, this was Theta, he cared about Theta, he _loved _Theta. He didn't want to hurt him. Theta who was now wrapping his arms around his waist, his touch so soft and gentle and yet so strong. Theta who would never let anything hurt him. Theta who felt it was his place to protect him. Theta who always knew best. Theta who could do no wrong. Theta who was everything he would never be.

He wrapped his arms around Theta, pulling him close and resting his head against Theta's shoulder, trying to ignore those thoughts. He stayed there for a moment, safe in Theta's arms, before moving to kiss him. He moved his arms from Theta's waist to play with his hair as he kissed him. Theta's lips were soft as was his slightly curly thick brown hair.

"I love you, Theta." He whispered between kisses, trying to convince himself that that was still true as the anger returned. Theta was so beautiful, how much more beautiful would be if he cried?

"I know," Theta whispered back. There was something smug about that, wasn't there? Theta knew he had him. No. That wasn't right. It was just an innocent comment "I love you, too." That sweet smile of his was still there. He ran a hand over Theta's cheek and forced himself to smile back.

Theta kissed him again, a long, deep passionate. A controlling kiss, Theta's arms pulled him closer forcing him to move. He pulled away and punched him in one quick movement. Theta yelped in shock and pain as his fist made contact with his jaw.

"Koschei…?" Theta whispered, his eyes wide, his expression shocked, his hand flying to his jaw, rubbing it gently. There was something even more beautiful about Theta in pain.

"That's not my name." He told him, the dangerous edge to his tone caused Theta to step back "I am the Master."

"No, you're not!" Theta said determinedly. He stepped forward again, "You're Koschei." He placed his hand gently on his check. "You're my Koschei."

"I'm not _your _anything." He retorted bitterly, slapping Theta's hand away.

"Koschei…" Theta's face portrayed the heartbreak he was feeling.

"Look at you" his voice continued bitterly "you think you're so perfect. Your perfect life, your perfect family, your perfect body, your perfect personality, all so damn perfect."

"I never claimed to be perfect, I'm not perfect." Theta said "Why are you being like this?"

"Oh but you are, aren't you? You can't do anything wrong." He hit Theta again.

"Koschei stop it!" Theta tried to sound angry but he couldn't keep the panic out of his voice. His lip had split and was bleeding, he wiped it away.

He went to hit Theta again but Theta caught his fist and kept hold of it. He didn't let it stop him though, hitting Theta in the rib with his other hand. Theta automatically let go of his fist and backed away, holding his rib.

"This isn't you" Theta insisted. "Why are you doing this?"

He smiled "It's good to see you hurt. Mark your oh-so-perfect face."

"Koschei stop it. Calm down. Look at me" Theta told him. "Look at me, you don't want to do this."

"You don't get to tell me what to do anymore, Theta. I am the Master"

"No! You're Koschei" Theta insisted. "You're Koschei and I love you."

"Theta…" He said, his voice was still bitter but his fists slowly unclenched. This was Theta, his Theta, his love. He did what he asked and looked at him properly. Theta's lip was no longer bleeding but a bruise was already forming on his jaw. Theta's eyes were wide, his expression that of a rabbit in headlights. What power there was in that, a strong, brave guy like Theta was scared of him. Brilliant.

No! It wasn't. It wasn't brilliant. Theta was hovering a few steps away from him, scared to step forward but too in love to leave him. He could do whatever he wanted and Theta probably wouldn't even try to stop him. No! He didn't want to hurt Theta, he'd never wanted to, not really. But look at how beautiful he was scared. No!

"Theta…" His voice was softer now, a level of desperation entering it. He needed help and he knew it and he knew Theta knew it. And Theta would help, would always continue to help no matter what he did, that was the great thing about Theta. "Help me!"

Theta was confused, of course he was confused, but he stepped forward and pulled him into his arms. Theta touch was so gentle and familiar, how could he ever have wanted to hurt him? How could he ever have actually hurt him? He found himself crying into Theta's shoulder.

"Kosch?" Theta asked gently. "What's going on?"

"I'm scared, Theta, I'm so scared," he whispered. He hated himself for admitting it, he hated that he was scared, he knew he needed to toughen up and deal with it. He knew he had to stop being so pathetic.

No. That wasn't him. He wanted Theta's help, he needed Theta's help. He didn't want to hurt him. "I'm so sorry, Theta."

Theta shook his head. See, Theta didn't even care, he could do anything and a simple apology would make it better. No. No. No. He _was _sorry, he didn't want to hurt Theta, he _didn't. _

"What's going on?" Theta asked again.

"I don't know." He admitted helplessly. He should let himself be helpless, he should be stronger, strong enough to deal with it, strong enough to take control. He looked at Theta's worried expression, he didn't need control, he needed Theta. "I can't control it."

"Can't control what?" Theta asked.

Koschei pulled away from him, his hands against the side of his heads, "The drums…" he tapped on the side of his head along with the beat _taptaptaptap. _"So loud. So angry. So…" he closed his eyes tightly, he was aware that Theta was watching him. "I don't know who I am anymore, Theta."

Theta took his hands and gently pulled them away from his head. "Look at me, Kosch" he ignored the part of him which said Theta was trying to control him and he had to stop that and slowly opened his eyes. Theta met his eyes, taking his face in his hands to stop him looking away "You're Koschei, you're smart and funny and loving and-"

"I love you, Theta." He whispered, placing his hands on Theta's face. "and I don't want to hurt you but I can't control it." he pulled away again, stepping back from Theta. "It's like there's this… other me locked away deep inside and he's dark and angry and violent and he just wants to hurt people and I can't control it. I can't stop it because part of me… part of me doesn't want to. Part of me wants to let him out. But he hurt you, I hurt you, we hurt you. And I can't let that happen, I don't want to hurt you…"

Theta smiled, there was something reassuring about the sight. "It's all right, Kosch, you can fight it."

So naïve, but then with such a sheltered life what else could be expected? In Theta's perfect little world everything bad could be fought off and everything would end up all right. He should be shown that sometimes it wasn't all right, he should be shown that things went terribly wrong.

_No! _He wasn't going to hurt him. He didn't deserve to be hurt. He wasn't naïve, he was just positive. He tried to smile positively back but he couldn't force himself too. "Theta, I mean it. I can't let that happen. I can't see you anymore."

Theta's smile faded into horror instantly, "Don't be silly, Koschei…" but he'd already ran away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Theta couldn't find Koschei when he ran after him. He went to all the places he knew Koschei was likely to go; all around the forest; the old castle ruins; even the back streets behind the Citadel but he knew if Koschei didn't want to be found he wouldn't be. He also knew he couldn't just let Koschei go that easily, even if it meant getting hurt. There was a throbbing pain on his jaw and he knew there was going to be one hell of a bruise there. He rubbed it gently trying to sooth the pain, Koschei apparently had a very strong arm.

He sat on a bench in the centre of town trying to make sense of it all. Koschei wasn't himself and had hurt him, Theta knew he hadn't meant to, he knew he hadn't been in control but he couldn't understand that. The more he thought about it the more he realised the signs had been there for a while; Koschei had been prone to mood-swings, getting angry quicker, but Theta had thought noting of it because he always calmed down quickly.

He sighed, hating feeling so helpless, hating not knowing where Koschei was, hating that Koischei was pushing him away. He jumped up and headed home, not sure what else to do.

"Afternoon Theta," his Dad said without looking at him when he got in. Dr Sigma was stood in his lab looking over an x-ray on a holoscreen.

"Hi." Theta replied, pausing before added "Dad…?"

Dr Sigma didn't turn to look at him or pause from his work when he replied "Yes?"

"What…" Theta started nervously, unsure how to ask this. He paused and began again "What do you know about… um… people losing control? Like… I don't know" he struggled to find a way to explain and in the end settled for an explanation he always gave, using Earth. "Kinda like the Earth story of Jekyll and Hyde."

Dr Sigma sighed quietly "Theta you've got to stop with this obsession with-" he had been turning around to face Theta as he spoke and instantly broke off when he saw him "Thea, what happened to your face?" he took hold of Theta's chin gently to look properly at his bruised jaw and cut lip.

"It's fine, Dad." Theta replied pulling away from him.

"Who hit you?" his Dad asked.

"It doesn't matter." Theta insisted.

"Theta, who hit you?" Dr Sigma repeated, saying the words slowly to emphasise that he expected an answer. Theta just stared at him refusing to answer. Dr Sigma sighed again. "Sit down, Theta," he placed his arm around Theta's shoulder and led him to a seat by a table. "Right, lets get you cleaned up." He pulled an antiseptic wipe out of his cupboard and wiped the blood away from Theta's lip. Theta winced but didn't pull away. "Gonna tell me what happened?" Dr Sigma asked, disgarding the antiseptic wipe and looking for something to use as a cold compress.

"No." Theta replied simply.

Dr Sigma stopped and gave him a sharp look "Theta."

"Dad repeating my name isn't going to get me to talk."

Dr Sigma shook his head slightly and went back to his search. A moment later he returned to Theta with a towel wrapped around a bag with some ice in it. "Hold this to your jaw," he said, passing it to Theta who did so. "Why were you asking about Jekyll and Hyde?"

"Jekyll and Hyde is about the good and bad side of a person. Hyde came out and did terrible things that Jekyll would never have done but couldn't actually stop, right?" Theta started, "It was all because of some experiment Jekyll was doing and in the end Jekyll had to kill himself to stop Hyde, right?"

Dr Sigma nodded, having taken a seat opposite Theta "I know the story yes."

"Could it happen naturally?" Theta asked, "Like… to a Time Lord?"

Dr Sigma didn't reply, giving Theta the chance explain in great depth what he meant.

"Say someone was a really nice guy but there was another side to him who was really dark and angry and that darker side made him do things he wouldn't normally do. How would you stop that?"

Dr Sigma didn't answer for a long moment, thinking through what Theta was asking. Eventually he replied with another question "Who are we talking about?"

"Hypothetically." Theta answered too quickly.

Dr Sigma didn't press it, he simply stated "You don't need to lie to me Theta."

"I'm not" Theta lied. "So how would you stop it?"

"It would be psychological, I believe…" Dr Sigma begun, "It's impossible to say for definite because I haven't dealt with such cases. I deal with the body not the mind, after all."

"I know that, I just thought that since you're a doctor you'd maybe know a bit about it."

"Well, as I said I believe it would be a psychological thing. I don't think any drugs or anything would be able to help but rather since fighting it. There would probably be better people for this 'hypothetical' person to talk to than me, people who are trained in the workings of the Time Lord mind. But I think it would be a case of training the mind to ignore the 'other self' to the point where it no longer exists. Although it wouldn't be that simple for the other self has to have been caused through something."

"So what you're saying is, the other self would need Ko- the person's co-operation to be in existence at all. Like if this other self is making them do things it's because a part of them was thinking about and wanting to do it all along?"

Dr Sigma nodded, "That's not to say they're a bad person, everyone has dark thoughts, dark moments, but some people let it fester until it becomes too much, that, I suppose, come in effect cause another self which tries to take control of the person with the darkness."

"And it could be fought, right?" Theta met his Dad's gaze, unable to hide the need for reassurance in his expression.

"I believe so. It could be a case of something traumatic happened in the person's life and they need to face up to it to be able to deal with it to be able to get past the darkness."

Theta nodded, "Thanks Dad."

"Now will you please tell me what this is about?"

Theta shrugged "It's nothing really. I was just thinking about Jekyll and Hyde and then started thinking about it a bit too much I guess."

Dr Sigma shook his head while smiling, "You really do need to stop with this obsession with humanity."

Theta smiled innocently "And we both know that's not going to happen."

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><p><strong>AN: If you haven't read Robert Louis Stevenson's 'The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde' then I have just ruined the whole storyline and ending for you, but go read it anyway, it's very short but very deep. One of the best books ever in my opinion – possible because I have a fascination with twins/alter-egos/other-selves. Please R&R and let me know what you think, and also let me know if you think I rely on dialogue too much in my writing? It's something I worry about.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Theta left his Dad to go back to his work and made the rash and possibly somewhat stupid decision to see if Koschei had gone home. He left his house and headed directly to Koschei's at the other end of town. He always saw Koschei's house as being the exact replica of his, it was the same size and the same style but of course neither family would ever had admitted it was so similar. Theta and Koschei could never understand the bitter rivalry between their two families and frankly neither of them cared.

Theta hesitated when he reached the edge of Koschei's family's land. If he was seen by anyone other than Koschei he would be thrown off and his father would be called, which would destroy the years of sneaking around they had put into being together. He needed to see Koschei though. He stepped onto their land, forcing himself to keep walking, he avoided the front of the house and instantly skipped around the back.

He was greeted by a flower garden, such a range of colours and shapes and smells, it was beautiful but Theta knew he wasn't there to enjoy the landscape. He walked along the pathway through the flowers to the shed which was situated under Koschei's window. He looked up, it wasn't far to climb to get up but running was Theta's strong point not climbing. He ignored this and placed his hands on the window ledge, pulling himself up to grip his right foot on it. He lifts his over foot off the ground and aimed for the ledge while reaching up to grab the shed roof. Once he had a safe position on the window ledge he put all his strength into his arms and heaved himself onto the shed roof as quietly as possible.

Once on the shed roof he quickly moved over and knelt beside Koschei's window, before knocking on it. No answer came so Theta cupped his hand around his eyes to look in. Koschei was sat on his bed with his legs up and his head buried in his knees, his arms were over his head with his fingers tightly gripping his hair. Theta could tell he was terrified and hurting there, he knocked on the window again.

This time Koschei answered, opening the window and staring at him. His cheeks were lined with tears and when he spoke his voice shook, "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I had to check you're ok," Theta replied, offering his hand to help Koschei out onto the shed roof.

"You had to check that _I'm _ok?" Koschei repeated, astounded. "I'm not the one with a massive great bruise on my jaw."

He ignored Theta's hand and climbed out. Theta let his arm drop and stood up as Koschei stood in front of him. Theta tried to meet Koschei's eyes but Koschei was staring at the bruise, "I- I did that" Koschei's fear and disbelief made it almost a question. He lifted his hand to touch it, hesitating slightly before placing his hand over it "Does it hurt?"

Theta shook his head gently.

Koschei moved his hand away and met Theta's gazed, "Don't. Don't pretend it's all right, don't act like it's ok."

Theta smiles slightly, "It _is _ok."

Koschei stepped back, "No, it's not, Theta, look at you. I hurt you."

"You weren't yourself, Kosch," Theta replied, stepping forward and taking Koschei's hand. Koschei looked down at Theta's hand in his but didn't pull away, "I know you wouldn't help me." Theta cupped Koschei's cheek and lent in to kiss him.

"Don't, Theta." Koschei pulled back, letting go of Theta's hand "I- I meant what I said, you need to stay away from me."

He began pacing a few steps up and down along the shed room to avoid looking at Theta, not wanting to see the tears once again lining his eyes.

Theta sat down with his back against the house, "I'm not leaving you."

Koschei sighed, "Just go, Theta!"

"Do you love me, Koschei?"

"Theta, don't ask me that." Koschei said, dropping to the ground and sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees.

"Do you?" Theta pressed.

Koschei hesitated, not looking at him. He wanted to deny it, to make Theta go but he couldn't. "Of course I do, you know I do." He lent his chin against his knees, "but that's really not the point. The point is-"

"That's exactly the point."

"No, Theta it's not" Koschei disagreed. "The point is I hurt you and I'll probably hurt you again and I don't want to."

"Let me help you," Theta said, "See I was talking to me Dad and he sa-"

"You told your Dad?" Koschei head shot up and he stared at Theta, fear written in his eyes.

"I asked him about it hypothetically," Theta explained, "He said it's probably psychological thing and you have to fight it, then you could stop it."

"I'm trying!" Koschei replied, a hint of desperation entering his voice, "I' am, I really am trying! You think I've given up but I haven't. I'm trying to fight him, I'm trying to but he's so strong, he's so powerful. And HE'S A PART OF ME!" Koschei's fingernails dug into his knees sharply as he tried to control the anger that was building up again. "He's me and I'm him. Can't you see, Theta, we're one and the same. You're going to get hurt if you stay around me. The Master will hurt you, and I am the Master. Just get out of here, just go and don't come back. PLEASE!"

"No." Theta said, "I'm not leaving you, not when you're scared and going through a tough time, not when I may be able to help you."

Koschei jumped up, walked over and pulled Theta up by his shirt, "I said _get out of here._"

Theta looked at him defiantly, "No. This isn't you, this is him. You don't really want me to go and even if you do I'm not going to."

"Theta…" Koschei tone was warning, but he let go of his shirt, not looking threatening anymore.

"See the way I see it if you push my away you're already letting him win."

"H-how?" Koschei asked, clearly scared. He stuffed his hands in his pocket, fists tightly clenched, trying to keep himself calm.

"Because, if it's psychological like my Dad said, then you can't let him make anything change." Theta explained, "Because if you let things change then it's like you're admitting he's there and you're admitting he's powerful and you'll be giving him more power. Whereas if you don't change anything, then you'll be a step close to defeating him, because you'll be defying him, not giving him the power over you that he longs for."

Koschei looked at Theta, his eyes tearful with hope and fear, "I'm scared, Theta," he whispered, stepping forward as Theta opened his arms for him. Once he was there Theta closed his arms around him protectively.

"I know you are, Kosch, but we'll get through this together, I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Koschei forced himself to keep everything in his life perfectly normal, forced himself to make sure that absolutely nothing changed. He got up, mark another day off on his countdown to returning to the Academy, did everything he had to around the house and for his parents, listened to their lectures about how he needed to work harder and do better to be a "Proper Gallifreyan", then headed out to meet Theta in secret and didn't go back until long after both suns have set. He forced himself to fight the drums in the same way he always had done, by ignoring their presence. He forced himself to act normal, like nothing has changed, like he hadn't hurt Theta, like he wasn't completely terrified he would again, like he didn't want to just run and hide from everything and everyone. It worked, for the most part for a few weeks it worked. The drums were still there, still affecting him but the Master didn't make another obvious appearance in his head.

Everything was exactly the same but everything was different. He was so conscious of the fact that he was trying to keep everything the same that it made everything different. Whenever he was around Theta he was nervous, making sure he thought about everything before he did it, touching him, kissing him a lot less than before. He knew Theta was aware of it, a few times Theta had tried to tell him not to worry, that everything was fine, that he trusted Koschei not to hurt him. The problem was Koschei couldn't trust himself. He was scared, scared of becoming the Master, scared of not being able to fight, scared of having to fight, scared of everything. He was even scared of talking or even thinking about it, for fear that that would go against what Theta's Father thought and make the Master real again. If he thought about it, he was admitting he existed, wasn't he? But how could he not think about it?

"Koschei!"

Koschei and Theta were sat by the local river, on a picnic bench opposite each other. Koschei had been staring out at the water, completely unaware that Theta was speaking, he turned "Sorry, what?"

Theta laughed, "It's a good thing you're so cute otherwise you'd be annoying as hell the way you ignore me," he completed the speech with a tragic expression, leaning his elbows on the table with his fingers entwined and his chin resting on his hands. His face was pulled into an exaggerated frown and his eyes were wide.

Koschei rolled his eyes and forced himself to smile and joke, "Shut up, Theta."

Theta gasped, and made his eyes sad, "It hurts, Koschei, right here" he put one hand on each heart and sniffed. Koschei saw the smile he was trying to hide and just laughed. "Don't laugh at me," Theta emphasised his tragic expression and acted as though wiping a tear from his eye.

"Aw," Koschei said over-dramatically. "Are you upset?"

Theta nodded and whispered childishly "Mmhmm,"

"Shame that," Koschei said simply and went back to staring at the river.

Theta gasped in pure horror, "Koschei!"

"Yes?" Koschei asked, his smirk clear in his voice.

"Don't be meeeeeeeeeeeean," Theta complained.

Koschei laughed, "You're whiny."

"And I'm gonna keep being whiny until you stop me."

"And how do you propose I do that?"

Theta shrugged, "Sure you can think of something."

Koschei raised his eyebrow, "No. I can't"

It was Theta's turn to roll his eyes, "Can you really not?" he got up and wondered around the table, sitting next to Koschei and wrapping his arm around him from behind. "Nothing at all?" He kissed his neck and Koschei didn't react except to smirk, "Koscheiiiiiiiiii."

Koschei spun around to face him, "Yes, Theta?" he said sweetly.

Theta pouted again and Koschei finally gave in and kissed him. As he did so he felt the drums making their presence more known in his head. _Taptaptaptap. _Koschei let out the smallest of whimpers and pulled away from Theta, "I can't do this" he said sliding to the other end of the bench.

"What's wrong?" Theta asked and didn't want for an answer, "the drums?"

Koschei nodded, one hand pressed to his forehead in pain, "Go Theta."

"No," Theta replied, "Let's try something?" Koschei turned and looked at him, "Try just talking. Don't think about the drums, don't think about what they want or how it hurts, just talk."

"What about?" Koschei asked, watching Theta.

"Anything."

"It hurts Theta, it really hurts" as soon as he started speaking, Koschei avoided Theta's gaze. Part of him hated what he was saying, thought he was being weak, but a bigger part of him needed to get this out, couldn't cope with it anymore. "And right now? It's getting worse, it's just constantly there" he tapped the beat on the table for a moment, "I'm scared, T. What if I can't stop it or control it. What if _he _comes back and I can't fight him." He was aware of Theta about to interject but didn't let him, "I've never been so scared of anything and it's _me _I'm scared of so I can never get away from it."

"You-"

"It's always there, always" Koschei didn't let Theta interrupt, now that he'd talked himself into talking he needed to be able to say everything. He needed to tell Theta everything, he couldn't keep it all hidden inside any longer. "Sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse but it's constant. I want it gone but that thought scares me almost as much as the drums themselves do. I can barely remember being under 8 and not having them. They're a part of me and they're so powerful and it hurts and I'm scared. And right now I know I'm repeating myself and it probably doesn't even make any sense, but that's the problem, none of this makes sense. It's not getting better, it's never going to get better, it's just going to keep getting worse and worse until I won't be me anymore and I'm so bloody scared."

"Koschei-"

"Theta just shut up and let me talk," Koschei snapped and Theta stayed quiet. He stopped for a moment before calming down slightly, "Sorry, I'm sorry. Please just listen?" Theta nodded, not even annoyed. Koschei smiled just slightly, gratefully, "It's stuff like that, they make me all… I don't even know, tense and then I snap before I'm even meaning to. But what if it does keep getting worse? What if it… What if he… Theta," Koschei met his eyes again, the fear clear in them, when he continued his voice was almost silent "What if he wins? And I know you'll say he won't and we'll fight it and I know we will but what if it's not enough. What if he's still stronger? What if I lose control? Lose you?"

"You won't," Theta said, his voice a soft whisper full of promise. "You'll never lose me."

"You can't guarantee that," Koschei replied, simply.

"I won't leave and you won't leave so you won't."

"Unless-"

Koschei was cut off by the sharp voice of his Father, "What the hell is going on here?"

**A/N: It's been forever! If anyone's stuck with me then I love you so much, you're awesome if you have. Please R&R if you're reading and I'll try not to go two months before updating again.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I can use NaNoWriMo as an excuse for not updating in November, but I have no excuse for October and the majority of September. I'm sorry! Stick with me. I'll keep updating, I'm just slow. R&R? Ily all.**

**Chapter Five**

Koschei registered his Father – Dr Oakdown's voice and the panicked look on Theta's face simultaneously. He turned to face his Father, stuttering, "D-Dad. What are you doing here?" He and Theta has always thought this place was safe to meet because their parents would have no reason to be there.

"I could ask you the same question," Dr Oakdown pointed out. "Which I will. Tell me Koschei, what the hell are you doing here? With that... kid?"

Koschei glared at his Father, hating the way he spoke about Theta. Koschei was well aware of the insults that had ran through his Father's mind before he settled on the simple 'kid'. He smiled sweetly and replied, "I'm plotting against you and the family, obviously. What other reason would I have to meet one such as Theta Sigma?" his voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Home. Now." Dr Oakdown ordered and Koschei didn't move, except to turn back to Theta. Theta was still looking concerned, and his panic was justified when he saw before Koschei Dr Oakdown reach to pull him to his feet and push him in the general direction of home. "I will drag you if I have to," he told him and Koschei pulled away from him.

"Well now, that would just be highly undignified," Koschei muttered. "We couldn't have that."

Dr Oakdown ignored him and turned his attention to Theta, "You. Out of here now and don't think your Father won't hear about this."

Theta jumped to his feet, nodded a goodbye to Koschei and walked towards his home. His Father was not as strict as Koschei's father, but he still was not looking forward to the confrontation that would follow. Koschei followed his Father home, and the second they were through the door Dr Oakdown rounded on him.

"Well?" he demanded.

The glare which has remained on Koschei's face the whole way deepened, as the drums intensified in his head. They hated the uncomfortable position he was in. His Father could never understand, not the way Theta did. Not that his father would care to understand about any of it. All Dr Oakdown cared about was making him the best Time Lord he could be, how Koschei felt was irrelevant. "It's none of your business."

"I told you a lot time ago you do not speak to the likes of him," Dr Oakdown told him. "Why were you with him? What were you doing?"

Koschei laughed slightly, bitterly, "Dad, if I were to tell you all the things that me and Theta get up to when you and Dr Sigma aren't around you would be shocked. Trust me, it's better for your health if you don't hear it."

Dr Oakdown stepped towards him, "You are an insolent little git. Answer my question."

"Fine," Koschei agreed, smirking. "Don't say I didn't warn you. Theta is my boyfriend."

Dr Oakdown's expression dropped into pure shock and horror, to which Koschei couldn't help but laugh. In normal circumstances such a dramatic chance in his Father's expression would've worried Koschei, he would've stepped back, stopped being insolent and NEVER dared give him the honest answer. The drums were getting to him though, they weren't impressed with what was going on. They made him fearless. Even when the anger growing in his father became obvious, Koschei didn't move. Even when his Father raised his hand to slap him, he didn't move. Once his father's hand made contact with his cheek, the only reaction Koschei gave was to hit him back. His tight fist made contact with his Father's cheek, hard and forceful. And only then, did the drums let up enough for Koschei to realise what the hell was going on. His Father's nose was bleeding and he was glaring at him intently. Koschei wasn't stupid, he wasn't about to stand around and await the reaction from his Father, he scarpered. Out of the house, running until he felt he was a safe distance away, running until he literally have no breath to continue. He stopped, hands on his chest, trying to get his breath back, trying not to panic too much. But he couldn't help it.

He dropped to the ground, the drums pounding inside his mind, _taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap_. The pain was becoming unbearable, the anger was growing within him. He had had ENOUGH. _Taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, _the drums made their presence un-ignorable in his mind, pushing against his mind, louder and louder, _taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap. _He gripped his hair, his arms over his face, curling up on the ground desperately, an undignified position, but he didn't care because it _hurt_. He needed it to stop, he needed it to stop, he needed it to STOP. He couldn't deal with it anymore. He could deal with any of it. No one understood. No one bloody well understood. Even the oh so perfect Theta didn't understand. His Father, the man who he should be looking up to, who should be looking after him didn't even _care _to understand and he had had enough. He had had enough of fighting everything and everyone and himself

_Don't fight. Don't fight and it won't hurt. _

Koschei gasped just slightly and sat up shaking slightly. That scared him. The drums had made him do things he hadn't want to do before, like hitting Theta, they had made him think things he wouldn't have without them, but never before this had given a message directly to him. He thought about it, how much easier his life would be if he didn't have to fight. Everything would be fine then.

But what would he become? Who would he be? He wasn't even sure he knew who he currently was let alone what he would become. He was angry, he was so angry, at the planet, at the schism, at the drums, at his father, at Theta, at himself, even at the stupid red grass he was sitting on. He was scared, he was scared of what was happening, he was scared of losing control and gaining control. He was scared of everything he told Theta and he was scared of that. How much he needed Theta.

_Taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, _they were trying to tell him he didn't need anything, he didn't need anyone. He'd be fine, he'd be great, he'd be powerful, he'd be in control, he'd be the Master. He wanted to need someone though. He didn't want to be alone. _Taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, _they pointed out that he didn't need to be alone, he could be in control and still have Theta. And for the first time, Koschei wondered if he should just stop fighting.


End file.
